I Do (Eli’s song Part 1)
By RMCiii Art
The time is up, the moments here Thoughts flood back to me THEY DO, THEY DO
I try to catch em’ That's like chasing rain
How the end of me
Came in her name
In a heartbeat, we had it our way
In a heartbeat, she couldn't stay
In a heartbeat, who knew the best of me left yesterday?
I DO.... I DO Put u on my walls
Paint u colorful & bold
Screams of beauty
Screams of youth
Screaming, Stories left untold
& each stroke Contains a question mark
Who needs u now?
Well I do, I do!
Mainly time & circumspection,
has led me to confession.
However now, I'm living better now
& u wouldn't recognize the growth....
u instilled in me, But I do, I do
These things they slowly render out,
Not such a sinner now
They all wanted off, wanted & out,
Oh however now,
This just my start,
Im no beginner now.
& while folks keep on asking how,
It's you, it's all you.
I've never properly thanked u for u meant me in my wayward staggered journey. Never properly able to grieve, much less begin to rationalize in some vain attempt at closure for my selfish core. Still I am me, and u were u, & to this day, to this very moment I often find myself in lapses of extreme positive naivety, my psyche lashes out @ me, telling me with every more fervent voice telling me "say her name." & yet, despite the hours, despite the time which has passed from that moment to this, I cannot, I will not. I am to weak. My inner voice continues ever stronger streaming @ me demanding that I "SAY HER NAME YOU COWARD." I'm ashamed still to say that I cannot, I miss you, the real you. What I and a select few were fortunate enough to get to know. ( I sit here & weep @ the irony, I paint your pic & wax poetic to express all that u meant to me. But these are just words I have to pen, noting compared what you had to go through, for me just words & paint, nonetheless, all I can articulate in the best way I can.)